I'm Back! And 4 Things I Learned While I Was Gone
Apologies for missing the last month of newsletters. I'll explain why here, and some of the most impactful lessons this last month has taught me.
Read Time: <5 mins.
Content Shared: 2 Books, 1 TV show, 4 harsh lessons from becoming a parent, and some of my stories.
What Happened?
Almost four weeks ago now, my life changed forever. I knew it was coming, but not in the intensity that I happened. On May 10th, we celebrated the birth of our first son. Since then, it’s been a whirlwind of emotions and solidifying some incredible lessons.
Firstly let me set the stage and say that my wife's birth was not usual. She ended up losing almost half her blood and needed some stitches. This altered the next few weeks drastically. Let me explain how and tell the stories along the way.
A New Level Of Importance
They say once you see your child born, it changes everything. The first thing I noticed is I suddenly had a new level of priorities. My work, business, and content creation hadn’t changed in the importance they had in my life.
But a new level had been unlocked, a level that my wife and son now held to themselves. With this comes something essential to keep in mind tho.
“The better you are the better you can help others”
It was tempting in those first few weeks to negate everything I needed. Sleep, eating, hygiene. Thankfully those around me were great at reminding me to look after myself and remindings me of something from my guiding days.
“You can’t let yourself become a patient, then you just add to the problem”
Lesson 1 - Make sure you stay the best version of yourself that you can. You can’t give from an empty cup.
Embrace Your Emotions
My wife and I were in pure survival mode the first few days after childbirth. Learning new skills and habits and worrying about our son left no room to decompress from what had undoubtedly been a traumatic experience.
As soon as we could, we made a point to talk about it, to listen to each other. To ask for a shoulder to cry on and have someone hold you. I won’t hesitate to say I had moments where all I could do was put my head down on the counter and shed a few tears. Doing so would let me expel the feelings of overwhelm and get back to the task at hand.
Fun Fact - Men’s testosterone drops by 30% after the birth of a child. This is part of the reason we get so tired, but also why we suddenly feel all out of sorts.
Lesson 2 - Emotions are important. Talking about them and feeling them are normal.
Your Support System Is Everything
When we got discharged from the hospital, my wife was still unable to walk more than a few feet and was left in a wheelchair. Getting home and leaving the hospital meant I had a new baby to look after AND my recovering wife. Who could barely manage to get from the bed to the couch for the first three weeks.
Surviving that first few weeks would have been impossible without my mother, who I am now glad insisted on being ‘nearby’ in case we needed her. It turns out we desperately needed her.
Not only did we receive support from my mom, but my younger sister, neighbours, friends, and now my wifes parents, every body was so generous and willing to help. Something I will forever be indebt to. It really does take a village, and I am so proud of the village our son has.
Lesson 3 - Never doubt your support groups and use them when its needed.
Lastly, Nothing Stays The Same For Long
Its now been almost a month, the way we fed him has changed, how he sleeps has changed. So has how he poops, pees, burps and plays. Not only those things have changed but our whole schedule has gone through changes. And will continue to for many years.
My last lesson is one I’ve learned before but is now more important then ever to stay sane. It also helps me to continue doing things that are important to me.
Lesson 4 - Stay flexible, be adaptable and be open and willing to try new things and change.
Normally I Included Something Here
If you’ve read my newsletter before you know that this is where I typically put some further learning that I used as inspiration for the newsletter. Because of the style of this one I don’t really have anything. But what I will include is some things I have been reading and or listening to in the last two months.
Big Potential - Shawn Achor. Shawn wrote one of my favourite books ‘The Happiness Advantage’, this is his next book and has been equally as riveting. It’s about how your potential is greater when you try and help others.
We’re Pregnant! - Adrian Kulp. If you are a dad to be or know a dad to be, this book has been a cornerstone to understanding what is going on.
Ted Lasso. This show is now at the top of my lists of shows. EVER. I can’t recommend it enough, the lessons, characters, heart and story are incredible. Turst me, its worth watching.
Thank You And A Favour
The last month has been wild. I’m excited to be back to this. I apologize about the missing posts, and also the strange new one you may find coming out here.
Next weeks will be back to a similar format but I felt the need to explain my absence to all of you dear readers.
If this has been great, if you like the more personal touch style. Please let me know either by responding or leaving a comment!
Oh, and of course feel free to share it with anyone you think may benefit.
Until next week friends.
Much love.
-Freeman
Life does have a way with curve balls... Sounds like you're handling everything as well as anyone could. ♥️ I like the personal touch myself - you kept it informative and practical and accessible and brief. Bravo!
A recent speaker at CSL Las Cruces started his talk by saying, "any of you who have heard me speak before know I talk about my life, how I screwed up, and what I did to fix it. " I loved his candor and transparency, and his willingness to be vulnerable. It was powerful.